PoopGang has just undergone a forum upgrade! I don't have a clue what new stuff is on it, but members were asking for it, so it's here! There might be a few teething problems for the next day or so, but nothing to major. No wait, that doesn't sound very good...

We've just moved over to the feature rich phpbb3, bringing in new features that are so great, I can't even explain them in words. Head there now to check it out!

:)

Inspired by some pap I spotted on E4 yesterday, where a show being hosted by a single female presenter, I don not know or care about her name, proclaimed that boys were banned, on the grounds that they are smelly and disgusting and stupid, I began to think about the roles and stereotypes of the two dominant genders in our society today. Trannies will have to wait their turn.

I'll start by talking about an area I have some experience in, criticisms made of men, by women. I've heard from various female acquaintances of mine, that men are immature, like children, unable to understand complex emotions, and still laugh at fart jokes and other such things. Well, first off, whilst I will admit that the odd escape of rectal gas, at just the right moment, can be about the funniest thing in the world, women are in no position to criticise. Sure farting's a little bit gross, but, and no word of a lie here, I've heard women talk to each other about their menstruation, and that's way more disgusting. I was in a pub once, and overheard two of the ladies sat on my table holding a private conversation with others around, which was pretty rude in first place, where one of them divulged that she was menstruating right there, in public! Thank goodness there were no children around.

Secondly, women say we men never grow up, we remain immature, but I'd like to draw your attention to what inspired this rant in the first place. A woman proclaimed that boys were banned from here show, because they smell and are stupid. Now, tell me, what does that sound like to you? The thoughts of a rational, mature individual, or an eight year old on the school playground? Exactly. When kids are younger, it's only natural for boys and girls to hate each other, they're only children, what other age group would consider kiss chase to be such a horrific experience? However, ten years later, and what's changed? The girls still hate the boys for all the same reasons, presumably because, the girls never grew up! That's right, it's the women who have failed to mature, stuck in the mind set of an eight year old, convinced they might catch cooties off a boy.

So, who's changed then? Yes, it's the boys. Now the men are no longer running about, kicking their female compatriots in the shins, but rather, attempting to grope their lumpy bits in clubs, because they know that cooties aren't real, and there's a chance to get laid, something laid down in our genetic material as essential to the furthering if the species, thus doing their bit for the greater good. Men don't care anymore, they'll accept anyone female, provided she's not fat or anything, or proper ugly, at least not without some alcoholic support. It's men who have become more accepting, willing to tolerate and most importantly open. We'll take anything with tits and a pulse, and won't discriminate otherwise, with silly notions of having your sights sets on a fictional, perfect woman.

So, women of the world, next time you decide to label all men folk as stupid, smelly and immature, look at yourselves first. Who are really the disgusting and immature ones? That's right, you. Oh yeah, and for God's sake, have a shave or a wax down there, or at least try to keep it in trim, honestly, it's like you think we'd enjoy a mid-munch floss.

“Celebrity chef” Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall (stupid name) has a problem with the way most British chickens are being reared. Apparently their little chicken houses aren’t very nice and they are miserable little birds with conked out wee legs. Fair enough, that’s his feelings an’ all that. But he’s not looking at the bigger picture, or seeing it from other angles. Which is where I come in. I’ll paint a picture so shocking and upsetting it’s bound to make any supporter of Hugh’s Chicken Out campaign question his evil regime.

Warhawk (PS3)

As wonderful as the internet is, combined with the fact that it now seems even more widespread than the list of sexual conquests of that girl you knew who left school in year 9 to have a kid to her step-brother, it still seems to rattle the gaming community when a game requires internet access to be able to play it. It’s bad enough when a game like Bioshock was released on the PC, which requires the user to activate the product online upon install. A problem which, despite being printed in big bold letters under the essential reading that is the system requirements, still led to various games forums being flooded with queries such as “lol my copie of buyoshok dunt werk lol y not?” from the illiterate masses of the gaming world. Imagine then, the concern that must have been running through the heads of the kind chaps at Incognito Entertainment when they launched the multi-player only, online dominated, Warhawk.

Let me say, first of all, that this race has completely captivated me, and all for very positive reasons. It's been a constant surprise; in a country where the multibillion dollar news industry heavily invests in polls, projections and analysis, surprise is nothing short of remarkable. I'll list a few choice blunders by the news networks; Hillary Clinton is 'inevitable', John McCain's campaign is 'finished', and everything will have been decided after 'Super Tuesday'. All complete bollocks. The script has been thrown out; Bush's tenure of awfulness has driven far more people to vote at this early stage, and the desire for change is what I'd put these shocks down to.

Of course, Guiliani had 'front-runner' status for months before the first primaries... but then people started to vote. Has a campaign with such major backing ever died so miserably? Despite the fact that I hate Guiliani, and thought he would've screwed up the world even more than Bush, the most exciting thing about that is that no-one saw it coming. Like everything else in this campaign. Indeed, no-one saw Edwards pulling out as soon as he did, and no-one saw the evangelical Huckabee winning a single state. If I were an American news anchor, I would probably say something clichéd like "It's been a rollercoaster ride"; many have.

Aneurin Games: Paper Plane

Very addictive and made by the forum's very own Aneurin. Play now!